wishing a thousand blessings
a thousand petals on you   
healing you
a thousand rain perfume
a thousand songs      a thousand
love of birds
because you fed me
i feed the earth
i nurture the grasses
i feed the ants     
jays     chipmunks
flipping a big coin to the universe
both sides blessed not lucky
i’m emptying my bones so i can be a bird
i’m making the apple tree from flower like the bee
don’t let me hurt spiders
don’t let me be unkind
me and crow grieve all day
in the heat     hawk
gone after our baby
feel so greedy
feel so crazy
chant all day
my longing made an explosion
in the shade
a shot
my cry became
a busted wheel     dust rose
spun and spun
the crows cried and the dogs
howled and the river laughed
in fear       i laughed
all my hidden ache
my bicycle explodes 
shoots stars and feathers and dust all over
i mourned and the universe clapped
stop        my bike
was so hot
the man was trying to black out the sun
i wanted nature     
by the water on the longest day
what can i do to bless the gods
how can i be gentle bloom
peel my lips i died a minute
we all died        we were all skeletons
and then we were all peeled back
howling with the pain of life
spiders crawled from my veins
i’d rather implode without a sound
without harming anyone      than explode
i’d rather sit under the buzzing lights
reading marge piercy’s gifts
than to knife my own heart again
and again