phone calls from the rain

seeing the line glazed with rain written on a
cardboard sign
tacked to telephone pole
my psychic hands pick up the phone before it rings
hello snake in the wood
your whole body some wildflower
please don’t let us rattle
away into insanity   
don’t let all our colors blend
don’t let us shake and smoke & haywire 
last night in meteorite sky
i cried into your belly
& you sat unmoving
i thought of the boy
riding the midwestern train      a stowaway
crying on the old queer’s lap    & how he
promised himself never to cry in anyone’s
lap again
not even the belly of a blossom snake
hello deer running with me in silver dawn
your clouds catch my eyes
hello crow waking
from your dreams flying mightily across
the sky eating the blue yard
thank you for answering
i clear my lungs of prayers and wash my mouth
in wind    the scent
of balsam from the forest
is the trees’ love for me
to think that i could ever want
to leave the holy mud and moss
and destroy the perfect beat of my heart

where i come from?

lone birch blood pine
my fingers are
just prints of rust
sleeping with the rain
entombed in sweat
put back together
in the morning
by crows and water

i been going crazy
chewed up slugs
worms and fish
slimy dirt i am
don’t know how i got to be so silver

so glad i have a baby who loves me somewhere
so glad i have a plant who brings me
back to my body somewhere. 
bring me back to my baby
birds flying high
make me want to stay in shadows

the dust lady said to me
we took your tent down because you
ride a bike and like to sleep around
we don’t like no creative type
earth worshippers here
just good old massachusetts tourists 

i am like the mother and father
birds feeding their babies
shifting from black to white face
shocked by people

the sea rescues me
my instincts carry me
stumbly thru ferns hiding on ocean rocks
diving into the sea
sick with heat
cutting my toe
i do surgery on
myself.  rub ointment
on all
my cuts and bites. 
the sea remedies me

i cover myself in olive oil and beeswax
cover myself in salt water
play harp.  play it cool
sea is my bath

a fisherman appears
puts wires
into me

always a river inside me
and my heart is a sea
and my love is always
a river circling inside me
days do as you will with me
always a river inside me to the sea
a thousand times a day
with sun and wind and rain passing over me

sip me up like ducks hens horse
with marble eyes in yards

a fawn running frantically
thru the woods
right in front of me
with black lips and teeth
we are so scared and
out of place amongst the people
and all the violence of the boats

a fawn running as fast as it can
dipping low to its side like
i cycle
a crowd behind us
speculating it’s being chased
by a fox
by a ghost

patti smith comes to the shore saying take my hand
atlas sound comes to the shore saying take my hand and pray
with me

the deer is innocence

lost mooring
wave gone back to ocean

deer is me running motherless
but showing how fast
and fearless the small can be

we are bitten by ticks
they are sucking out our heads
or maybe just putting medicine back in

i find the grave of lot’s wife
a nameless 28 year old
she’s on the salt flat she’s me
i name her

i say you’re just a fawn who’s been separated from their
mother too soon
running as steady as possible
feeling the tender blue under you
silver envelopes in a dazed pull
something is lost something is gained

i have touched all i’m not supposed to:
snake pulp
i have eaten dirt and sand been like
fog rock
ash skin
wet clover
grass pine

i have become a moth

found my way back
home and everything grown
so much  i come back
the sanctuary of our love
smelling like rust. 
my feet cut
and filthy.  i no
longer wear
shoes.  my hair

i listen to my baby play
don’t think twice.  i
listen to
the crows welcome me back
all that i am
i give to you
god life music light
trucks and the pluck of your fingers

in hurricane light the coral
light gold of evening upon my
return from the green tide roads
you became the tide you circled
thru me you sang inside me
the smell of rain and the
scarf over the window waved
in ecstasy the smell of rain
and bird song upon my blue return
our landscapes blend
it brings a blessing rain

where i come from
crawfish got soul

heart’s desire

to be in love forever

to be an eye of crow
to be a cloud reflection in the river
to be piano keys
to hum and harp
for all my ecstasy to break out of me like stardust and land
on everything i love
for all my ecstasy to become wind and fill my laughing mouth
until i fly and my eyes cry for so much gratitude, so much love for it all, i
tingle thru yer limbs, i fill tree limbs with bliss
for the sweetest music to enter me, that take me to
yesterday and today and tomorrow and every place I ever been and where i
becoming and who i love washing thru me all at once
my eyes cool water, shifting blue and black like the waves
seeing myself in everyone and in all life
matching my pulse with another


he shot the young bear come visit

he’d never seen a bear not scared
come right up to the porch
could have got the dog
the bear had human hands when
they dragged it
god son
flesh moon
we hung our heads
under the night

going godless

wishing a thousand blessings
a thousand petals on you   
healing you
a thousand rain perfume
a thousand songs      a thousand
love of birds
because you fed me
i feed the earth
i nurture the grasses
i feed the ants     
jays     chipmunks
flipping a big coin to the universe
both sides blessed not lucky
i’m emptying my bones so i can be a bird
i’m making the apple tree from flower like the bee
don’t let me hurt spiders
don’t let me be unkind
me and crow grieve all day
in the heat     hawk
gone after our baby
feel so greedy
feel so crazy
chant all day
my longing made an explosion
in the shade
a shot
my cry became
a busted wheel     dust rose
spun and spun
the crows cried and the dogs
howled and the river laughed
in fear       i laughed
all my hidden ache
my bicycle explodes 
shoots stars and feathers and dust all over
i mourned and the universe clapped
stop        my bike
was so hot
the man was trying to black out the sun
i wanted nature     
by the water on the longest day
what can i do to bless the gods
how can i be gentle bloom
peel my lips i died a minute
we all died        we were all skeletons
and then we were all peeled back
howling with the pain of life
spiders crawled from my veins
i’d rather implode without a sound
without harming anyone      than explode
i’d rather sit under the buzzing lights
reading marge piercy’s gifts
than to knife my own heart again
and again